unbearable
by Queen Regent Of The North
Summary: 'Its said to be nearly unbearable to witness but I'll do my best'...one character actually witnessed the Dementors kiss...can Albus save her from her mind before its too late?


**Right, I'm not even aware of how I ended up with this. All I know is that I was googling McGonagall quotes and realized that she witnessed Barty Crouch Jnr's dementor kiss and then came up with this. **

Minerva sank weakly into one of the cushy chairs in Albus Dumbledore's office. She hadn't said a word after being sent to fetch Madame Maxine and Hagrid and her throat was aching from screaming at Fudge. To anyone who didn't know her she appeared to be the picture of calm authority, Dumbledore's second in command, Head of Gryffindor, Transfiguration professor, youngest animagus in over a century, winner of transfiguration today's most promising new comer award, winner of witch weekly's most influential witch award and well as their most beautiful eyes award. She tried not to think about that last one too much. But to the trained eye, one glance at her would show just how shaken up she really was. Her fingers trembled, she was biting her lower lip, and her eyes; usually so full of intelligence and a hint of mischief were nothing but dark green pools of misery and agony. She was cold so she huddled in on herself but at the same time a fine sheen of sweat coated her forehead. Physical pains shot up her spine in waves, making it hard for her not to cry out. Yet her hair still remained in its immaculate bun, her robes didn't have a thread out-of-place and listened closely as Albus outlined his plan of befriending the giants to Hagrid and Madam Maxine.

"Righ' then Professor" Hagrid said loudly, causing her to jump slightly "there's a couple of things I've got ter do bu' I'd say we can leave within the next couple o days"

Madame Maxine, who was looking very pale, nodded in agreement

"I thank you both" Albus replied gravely "I cannot think of anyone who would be more suited to the job than you two."

They both nodded solemnly before exiting his office quietly. Albus flicked his wand and the door closed behind them before standing up from his chair and walking around to perch in the chair desk to her

"Why don't you go to bed?" He asked quietly. She shook her head

"There's work to be done" she whispered, her voice cracking slightly. She swallowed painfully but looked up at him with a brave expression. He sighed and reached across to take her hands in his. He winced as he did so before looking up at her with a horrified expression.

"Minerva" he said in a restrained tone "why are your hands so cold?"

"I believe its one of the side effects when you witness a dementors kiss" she replied, shuddering as another wave of pain shot up her spine.

"Minerva, do I understand correctly that you were in the room when it happened?" He asked, a flicker of anger in his bright blue eyes. She nodded and he exploded from his chair.

"You mean to tell me" he said, voice shaking with suppressed rage "that Fudge didn't ask you to leave?"

She shook her head and gripped the arm of her chair so hard that her knuckles turned white.

"He...he was also in the room Albus." She rasped out

"Minerva, I am willing to bet my entire collection of chocolate frog cards that he was as far away as possible. You...you must have been standing right next to him when it happened. The things you must have seen..." He trailed off, his face paler than she had ever seen it and his blue eyes alight with a mixture of sadness and fury.

"I'm fine" she insisted "I just need to warm up."

"He did it on purpose." Albus muttered as he strode around the room

"Did what on purpose?" Minerva asked weakly

"Left you in that room! Didn't ask you to leave!" Albus exclaimed loudly, barely able to keep his rage in check.

"Why would he do that?" She asked, attempting to stand up before sinking back into her chair. He stopped his pacing and peered at her thoughtfully

"Dobby" he called loudly and the house elf appeared with a crack.

"Professor Dumbledore sir" Dobby greeted, bowing so low that his nose nearly touched the ground.

"I need as much hot chocolate and as many ginger newts as you can possibly get me in the next five minutes as well as some Honeydukes bars." Albus ordered "and after that could you ask Madame Pomfrey to come to my quarters at her earliest opportunity?"

Dobby bowed again and vanished

"Albus I'm sure that's not necessary" she protested but another shudder ran through her as she said the words. A tray appeared on his desk and Albus seized a mug and pushed it into her hands.

"Drink" he ordered and she did so, too tired to argue with him. Immediately the shudders became less violet and a warmth spread through her.

"Better?" He asked gently and she nodded. The gently removed the cup from her hands and put it back onto the tray. The next thing she knew he had swept her up into his arms and was carrying her towards his bedroom, charming the tray to follow them as he went.

"Albus what are you doing?" She asked as he transfigured her robes into a very warm pair of pink pajamas and carefully tucked her into his bed. He then handed her mug back to her along with a biscuit.

"What did you see?" He asked her watching her drink

"I saw...my brothers, Malcolm and Robert" she whispered "I watched them being murdered again. I saw Elphinstone die over and over again and there was nothing I could do."

"You also saw things that haven't happened yet am I correct?" He asked softly.

"I saw you being murdered by Grindelwalt, and again by Voldemort. I saw Hogwarts burnt to the ground with all the students still inside. It was like...like I could feel not only my own pain, but everyone else's as well." She shuddered "I couldn't scream, but I could hear their screams, I couldn't see anything but the horrors I was forced to see. I couldn't breath without being in agony. There was nothing I could do Albus." She stopped speaking as she succumbed to tears. Albus pulled her into his arms, holding her tighter every time a sob wracked her body, squeezing his eyes shut so that he wouldn't cry himself. After a while she pulled away from him and wiped her eyes on her sleeve

"Why did you think Fudge did it on purpose?" she asked in a thick voice, leaning back on the pillows as he handed her another cup of hot chocolate.

"Fudge has been accusing me of trying to get his job for the last year. He still thinks I had something to do with Sirius escaping. He confronted me about it earlier this evening before the task started and it didn't end well." Albus explained heavily "I would guess that he left you in that room because he was trying to get to me."

"Why me?" She asked

"Because he knows that you are the most important person to me in the world Minerva, he went for the people I love rather than me myself. He knows its my biggest weakness." He told her bitterly

"Albus, its not your fault" she told him "promise me you won't beat yourself up about this."

"But it was because of me Minerva! He thinks that the episode in the hospital wing was just me trying to undermine him again."

"But it wasn't" she insisted "Albus, people need to know and if he won't tell them then you'll have to! If I have to witness a few dementors kisses to save half of the wizarding community in England then that's what I'll do."

"You shouldn't have to." He muttered into his beard

"You cannot save the world single handily" she said softly, stroking his arm gently. He smiled slightly at her

"My dearest Minerva, I haven't been single handed since you became a teacher here at Hogwarts."

She opened her mouth to reply but at that moment Madame Pomfrey entered the room

"What's the matter?" She asked and Albus quickly explained

"Minerva you were in the hospital wing not ten minutes after it happened! Why didn't you say anything?" Madame Pomfrey scolded, pulling several vials out from her pocket and summoning a glass of water.

"I was a little preoccupied at the time with an incompetent minister for magic" Minerva replied stubbornly, eyeing the now fizzing glass with suspicion. "What exactly is that?"

"If you knew you wouldn't drink it" Madame Pomfrey told her, pushing the glass into her hand. "Now drink up"

Minerva set her jaw stubbornly and was about to refuse when she caught sight of Albus's worried face. She huffed and forced the vile liquid down

"Merlins beard that is revolting!" She spluttered "hand me a biscuit quickly!"

"Well I can see my work here is done" Madame Pomfrey teased "I better get back to the hospital wing before Potter gets himself into anymore trouble."

"Are you feeling better?" Albus asked her after Poppy left

"Much thank you" she answered "I think I can go back to my own bed now."

"Oh no you don't" he said pushing her gently against the pillows "you'll stay right where you are."

"But Albus, its your bed!" She protested

"I'll sleep in the chair" he told her "I'm probably not going to get much sleep anyway."

"We...we could share?" She suggested tentatively, not meeting his eyes

"Are you sure?" He asked, his eyebrows shooting up in surprise. She nodded and he quickly transfigured his robes into a pair of bright yellow pajamas before climbing in next to her. To his great surprise (and delight) she immediately snuggled up next to him.

"Nothing is certain anymore is it?" She asked softly "we could all be murdered tomorrow."

"We could." He answered in the same soft tone

"Albus." She said "I love you."

"And I you Min, and I you"

**I love reviews as much as Albus loves sherbet lemons! ;) **


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